I'm so leaving early from work today.
Here's a quote to ponder:
"If you take your girl to Denny's..she's NOT your girl." -- Ominz.
With that outta the way, let's get into more adequate areas of discussion. They just opened an Urban Outfitter's right on front of our office. I took a stroll in there on the first day they opened to find the perfect spot to throw a Molatov Cocktail in there.
Instead, I ran into the Litmus Test of trendy assness. The epitome of individuality masked behind order and complacency. Not to mention all the clocks in there that were for sale were stopped at 4:20. Makes me wanna stop smoking.
Here's a sentiment: If you talk about smoking weed more than you actually do it, you're doing it for the wrong reasons. Fuckin egg in the skillet brains...
IN conclusion, I will stop by Urban Outfitter's once a month. I will inspect clothing and 'furniture' and if there is anything in my closet that RESEMBLES an item on the racks, I will burn it and spread the ashes on Westwood Boulevard.
Family updates....
After spending 19 years of his life trying to find a job, my so called brother finally acquired one, working as a front desk attendent at a gymnasium near home. 19 years looking for a job, and it took him 3 weeks to quit.
Why did he quit? Well, if you talk to him, he makes it seem like they were making him kill small children and women. And he couldn't stand working 5 times a week. Imagine that? Someone that works 5 times a week...it must suck!
So,my parents are totally supportive, telilng me he should focus on getting a job that is in the field of study he went to school for.
BUT! I have my own reasons on why he quit.
My brother's a caniving asshole. That's not the reason he quit tho. Upon getting his job, my parents laid down some new procedures:
1. You'll have to pay for ur own food now.
2. You'll have to pay for ur own student loans now.
3. You'll have to pay for the entire house's water bill, because he uses more water than Raging Waters on a hot July day.
Now, in his eyes, that meant he would be busting his ass everyday except Saturday, and be earning money; BUT, the ratio of the money he keeps versus the amount of work that he does was too disparate.
He would be making about 200 dollars a week, but would be spending 160. That means, he'd be only keeping 20% of his wages, while working 40 hours a day.
He's not very bright, but when it comes to money, he's as sharp as an arab trader. i know that the when my parents bitch at him for taking 8 hours in the bathroom, he's NOT wacking off. Instead, he's devising a wonderful equation, that allows him to see if he will keep the job or not:
(money made) - (money taken out) / hours worked = Qutting Quotient
If the quotient is TWO or below, he's better off quitting.
If he quit his job, he'd be able to 'look' for another job while my parents paid all his bills again. And mind you, "looking' for another job means sleeping in until 2 pm. waking up at 2 pm and preparing himself 'lunch" which consists of only one thing:
1. Toast
2. Peanut butter on top of the toast.
3. Blended banana puree on the toast.
See, my brother had an incident with a Whopper a few years ago. He almost choked to death, and from now on, he NEVER goes out to eat anymore and everything he does get is doggie bagged home where he can chop up his meal into tiny little pieces, and reheat it in the microwave until the entire meal becomes soft and mushy. He will also take about 45 minutes to eat a simple meal.
So, at 4 pm, he finally is up and mobile and usually hits the showers.
At 5:30, after he's consumed as much water that a family of 12 would consume, he dries himself off by standing in front of the mini fan. At 6 pm, he's ready to "look for work." This means turning on the computer and turning on the TV and watching the Spanish network versions of Blind Date and the Jerry Springer show. He opens up Internet Explorer and visits http://english.aljazeera.net and http://english.aljazeera.com. At 6:30, after he's done reading the headlines, he retires into the comfort of my parents room and locks himself in there to watch more asinine programming, and sometimes watches Dodgers and Lakers games but turns them off if either team is winning. He does this until my parents kick him outta their room, and he has to find shelter in the kitchen, where he makes his dinner. Which is the same thing he has for lunch, and breakfast. Sometimes he switches it up and eats Cheerios. Not the regular kind, because that might get stuck in his throat. He needs to Honey Nut, so it glides down his throat easily.
Psychological issues anybody? And my parents refuse to believe anything is wrong with him.
He needs 2 things to happen to him:
1. He needs to get his ass beat.
2. He needs to get laid.
Once those 2 happen, he'll act his age. Until then, my family has to deal with his inabilty to process thoughts and live life correctly.
I really do not like him...i mean, he's my brother and all, but I refuse to like ANYBODY who is not benefitial to society, his family, or even himself.
And to boot, he's got the world's worst attitude problem. He thinks he's never wrong. I guess he gets that from my mom.
